


Fast Food and Faith

by QuarterClever



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dialogue, Gen, hodge-podge theology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 03:38:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuarterClever/pseuds/QuarterClever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: God takes Death out for drinks and a chance to catch up with his old friend. </p>
<p>In which God has faith in his own creations and Death claims only to like them for their fast food.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fast Food and Faith

**Author's Note:**

> Written for bonus round 2 of SRS 2012, where entries could only contain speech. You can find the prompt [here](http://srs2012.dreamwidth.org/6060.html?thread=164524#cmt164524).
> 
> I've never written God or Death before, the theology is all over the place, and they're probably wildly OOC, but here you go!
> 
> (Also, title randomly decided in space of ten seconds, so please ignore)

“You know, if you keep drinking all those slushies you’re going to end up reaping yourself. Even Death can get diabetes, right? Man, how would that even work? How would you even reap yourself?”

“And if you keep drinking all that whiskey I’ll be able to reap you long before that happens.”

“I created alcohol just so I could have a coping mechanism. Being a god is hard.”

“So hard that it apparently necessitated your leave of absence for several millennia.”

“I was around. Doing stuff.”

“You were playing at being human.”

“They are my greatest creations.”

“Which you almost allowed to be destroyed a half dozen times over. The apocalypse, power-hungry angels, Leviathan.”

“I wasn’t the only one! What about that whole ‘making Dean Winchester take over my responsibilities for 24 hours’ deal?”

“Castiel.”

“That’s different.”

“Dean’s time in the role of death was to teach him a lesson. Castiel’s time as god was unnecessary and served to undermine the natural order of the world you’d established. Unless you’d always intended to release the Leviathans out of Purgatory.”

“God works in mysterious—“

“We’ve been… friends… for too long for that explanation to suffice.”

“My characters took over the plot?”

“An understatement. Your ‘plot’ has veered off course in recent years.”

“It’s not really jumping the shark if you never come back down.”

“You have spent too much time in the guise of a human.”

“Says the horseman of the apocalypse who gorges himself on chili cheese fries.”

“I can appreciate the pleasures that humans have concocted to fill their short lives.”

“And in that, you’re more like Dean Winchester than you think.”

“Hm.”

“You are a much less messy eater, though.”

“Joy, I have bested Dean Winchester at table manners. My existence is complete.”

“You’re fond of him; don’t deny it.”

“As are you. That doesn’t make him any less aggravating.”

“He’s human.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Another slurpee?”

“Blue raspberry this time. And a cheeseburger. It’s good to see you putting your infinite powers to use.”

“I made a lot of mistakes early on. Didn’t do things the way I should have. I was overconfident. I wasn’t going through the editing process, thinking my first efforts were flawless as soon as I slapped them out. I’m fixing that now.”

“The angels.”

“They’re learning. Slowly. Free will isn’t something they were ever designed for, but it should have been. I was young and arrogant and foolish. I shouldn’t have kept that from them. They need it, though, need to learn to live without me. They’re figuring out how to make their own decisions, rule their own lives.”

“And if they tear heaven and earth apart in the process?”

“It won’t come to that.”

“Won’t it? Gabriel, Michael, Lucifer, Raphael—your generals are gone. The angels that rose to take their place have Fallen or are failing. Give them free will, and they start a civil war.”

“They’ll figure it out. I have faith in them.”

“A god having faith in his creations. How novel. I suppose you have faith in humans as well.”

“If I didn’t I’d be drinking a lot more of this whiskey.”

“Hmph.”

“Aw, come on! It’s just…”

“They do make excellent hot dogs.”

“Well, yeah. But that’s not it. I created them. I’ve watched them from the day they arrived on the planet—“

“You’re quoting Lion King.”

“But the point still stands.”

“And now you’re channeling the Doctor.”

“Just… they’re mine. I’ve watched them grow. But I’m not going to be around forever. I’m not the first god you’ll reap and I won’t be the last. And you’ll be reaping them before and after you reap me, sure, but they’ll outlast me. The angels, the humans, all of them—they’ll be here long after I’m gone.

“And they’re going to have to survive without me. And at the same time I know they can do it, it scares me that they’ll have to. So I’ve been making trial runs. Giving the angels tough love. Kicking them out of the house and making them grow up. Maybe they weren’t ready, but at least this way I can still step in and fix it if things go balls-up.”

“You haven’t left them alone though. You’ve stepped in, disrupted the natural order.”

“Alright, so maybe it’s harder to talk about letting go than it is to actually do it. And sometimes they can just be so stupid.”

“We can agree on that at least.”

“Hey, don’t pretend that you’re completely innocent in all this either. Pulling a soul out of hell? That’s got ‘against the natural order of things’ written all over it.”

“Without your interference he never would have ended up there in the first place, at least not the way he did. And there’s nothing natural about a soulless human. Arguably I was restoring order.”

“Arguably. But that wasn’t your only reason for doing it.”

“I’m Death. By my very nature I’m something that can’t ever be truly understood. My Reapers aren’t just being catty when they won’t answer questions; even if they were to explain, humans just aren’t capable of understanding.”

“You don’t give them enough credit.”

“And you give them far too much.”

“What did you do on your vacation, huh? Eat and drink and be… as merry as Death gets? Yeah, you’re not gonna answer that, are you? Well, I didn’t. I spent time with humans, as a human. I know what they’re capable of, the good and the bad. I didn’t even know I was a god.”

“You still managed to throw yourself in the middle of things by making yourself a prophet.”

“I’m still getting this non-interference stuff down! And I had to have failsafe mechanisms in place and it wasn’t like it was a walk in the park I had to deal with editors and parking tickets and taxes and… but that’s not the point. The point is I know them, better than I ever did even when I made them. And they’re petty and horrible but they’re caring and wonderful too.”

“I suppose they have their moments.”

“Besides food trucks and greasy spoons?”

“Don’t push it.”


End file.
